Monday, February 17, 2014

Mr. Locked Up Sir!

If my mini-van had super powers, I'm pretty sure it would have pulled itself over and told us ALL to "Get OUT!!!" today.

***Warning! Next to abstinence, today's blog may be the next most efficient form of birth control. (Share it with your teens--it ain't all fun and games!)***

I have to assume this snapshot of my afternoon will sound similar to many. We mom's can share a look of exasperation...and a long sigh, and know exactly what kind of day it's been, without saying a word.

In all reality, today had some highlights....and I'll establish now, before the dramatic retelling ensues, that I am in fact one blessed mommy.... who wouldn't trade ONE second of her chaotic life, for a different one.

Today was just too, funny (because it was one of those, where all you really can do is laugh), I figured it needed to be documented.

The morning was normal.... back and forth to therapies, lunch, school... but the afternoon held a much anticipated event! It created quite the buzz through the day!  Today was the first day of our Martial Arts/Self Defense class with our homeschool group. Boy were the kids excited.

I'll admit I was a little nervous about how it would go for Kenton.... I knew there would be plenty of structure, lots of verbal cues...and it could have been a train wreck, but as with any child... we want to give him the opportunity to try everything, and not prejudge his interests or capabilities.

As a whole, he did fabulous. As soon as class started, "Coach Mark" taught them that when he says, "Lock it up!" they are to drop to ground cross legged, and say, "Locked up, Sir!"  They practiced several times.... he had it!



Next, we warmed up with some jumping jacks.
 
(truly one of my favorite sights in the world... children doing jumping jacks!)  Next the mountain climber...it was at that moment, I was very grateful to be the photographer, and not a participant.
 
We finished working on some stances, before the real fun began with self defense....
 
Today's self defense move required them to lay on their backs.... kick with one foot, and use their hands a shield in front of their face. It was about the time that he was asked to sit on his spot...that Kenton noticed something was off.  The corners of the mat... right under his back here in this pic....
...were not lined up perfectly. He had discovered it while he was sitting there, and was trying to get the coaches attention in the middle of instruction. This really wasn't a big deal... to him, it was. "Ummmmm, Mr. Locked Up Sir??.... Ummmm, ummmmm, ummmmmm... Mr. Locked Up Sir???? We have a problem."  He never actually said what the problem was, but I knew exactly what he was wanting to make known.   I really struggled with how to help... He was in the front row, and not within whisper distance..... I didn't want to go helicopter mom and tread on the mat to calm him... so I just kind of had to watch. Coach Mark did a great job of redirecting him... and it was really a non-issue... it just resurfaced later.
 
We moved on to some nunchuck fun...
played a fun game....and called it a day. My exit from this place is what started the chaos.  They happen to have the coolest comic book collection of all of the Avengers, Spidey, Batman.... all of them....and my boy is just fascinated by them. After we got his shoes and socks on...I promised him a "quick look but not touch". It was all so exciting---so many covers to scour....and he knew he had a birthday party scheduled here coming up, and wanted to make sure the coach knew what was to be taking place, and give some directions on that....invite list, activities he'd like to have....and he was pretty much just going a mile a minute with excitement. I was keeping up ok, as was Coach Jackie (the helper), who was being so sweet to discuss the comic books and covers with him....and then my Littlest K started tugging on my purse strap. Over and over again. "Come on, Mommy! I'm hungry!" Tug. Tug. Tug.  "Mommy, hurry. My tummy's hungry."   So the next few minutes consisted of me telling her we'd get a little snack at home and trying to get him to move on without a huge meltdown. All of the other 20+ kids had left...and Coach Mark and Jackie got a nice little chuckle at me being tugged in two different directions. They got the above mentioned exasperated sigh from me, and a wise crack about why we decided to stop at 3...and then they watched us literally inch our way to the van. 
 
As I'm buckling Little K, she REALLY gets hungry... but not just for any ol' snack... for the RING POP she spotted in my front seat....and it's getting LOUD! Her screaming fit brought on water works from my boy, because he just doesn't do well with LOUD... and he starts in about "Mr. Locked Up Sir" and the "wrong cracks at his spot". I was tempted to hand her the Ring Pop... but I only had ONE. You all know how that was gonna end.  Kambree had been pretty calm and collected up until she had heard him refer to "Coach Mark" as "Mr. Locked Up Sir" one too many times...and decided she needed to set the record straight and point out his confusion! About half way home, one of them started including the need to pee in the mix... So now they are all three yelling/crying/sobbing... it was that kind of symphony of chaos, where you just praise the Lord that they are all buckled in, and you can kind of tune them out... except, really, they were too loud to tune out.
 
I did attempt some refereeing...
 
"You can have a snack when you get home"
"The cracks on the floor don't have to be perfect, Buddy. Not a big deal."
"He can call the coach, Mr. Locked Up Sir for now... not worth screaming over."
"I'm driving quickly, NO ACCIDENTS!"
 
About this time, the sun started shining in Kreslee's eyes... and of course, this was MY fault. "Mommy, you put the sun in my eyes. Stoooooop it." Then I'd drive through a shadow...."Thank you, Mommy...that's better"....back in to the sunlight....."Mommy STOP TEASING ME....the sun is in my eyes!" My three year old gives me a lot of credit... at that moment I was unable to control any of my 3 kids (all six and under)... and yet, she thought I was puppeteering the sun!  
 
As we pulled into the drive way, the child that needed to pee so badly, said they didn't need to go anymore....and as I turned around to see my fear confirmed... I just had to laugh. How could that little 8 minute drive have lasted so long. And how could I be surprised that it was ending this way?
 
Then my sappy, overthinking brain took over. I saw three of the cutest tear stained faces staring at me (awaiting my reaction to the "accident"), I saw a van, that my husband had gotten spotless for me just the week before, covered with papers from church, and remnants of happy meals, and random toys and books they'd smuggled out.... and I just decided to relish in the chaos.
 
It's true...they are only little for a very short time. In the blink of an eye... I'll be driving around town alone, because they will have opted to spend the afternoon with friends....and there will be no toys and happy meal trash covering my van---no car seats... "Mommy" will officially be shortened to "Mom"---and the odds of ME having an "accident" will outweigh theirs.
 
In those quiet moments, I'm sure I will look back on days like today, and realize just how sweet the chaos really was.  
 
Jason got home from work really late...and as usual we waited on him to eat. After our prayer, he said, "Kenton, tell me about martial arts."
 
His response...."The cracks on the floor were wrong, but Mr. Locked Up Sir didn't hear me!"
 
and his big sister yelled.... "It's COACH MARK."
 
I get a confused stare and through laughter said, "I'll tell you later!"
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 




 



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