Different NOT Less

This boy. Oh, this boy.

He has my heart, in a big, BIG way.

He's in a blue shirt today, because today is Autism Awareness Day.....and that blue shirt has a Captain America logo on it... because, in many ways, he's like a Super Hero. Overcoming obstacles. Fighting hard. Winning!

Almost two years ago, we learned that our suspicions were correct.... and there was more at play in some of the delays we were seeing with our sweetie. We received an Autism diagnosis.

Autism looks different for everyone. Some will tell you it's a gift.... others feel it's more like a disease that needs a cure... as for us... we're somewhere in between.

I love my son. JUST as he is. I believe, with every part of me, that he is EXACTLY who he was created to be. God does not make mistakes, but I would be lying, if I didn't admit, that Autism has certainly brought its share of hardships to our family. I'd be lying if I didn't admit I often long to be able to have a completely normal conversation with my son. I watch other boys his age, and how they interact with their parents and peers, and it hurts, because we aren't there...yet.  I'd be lying if I didn't admit, I sometimes wish things were easier or different.... because life with Autism involved, is hard sometimes....a lot of times.

If I could say anything to bring awareness to the cause... it would be this. Of all the hard times that have been associated with Autism in our family, the ones that hurt the worst, are the interactions we have with others, who just don't "get it". They leave me wanting to defend my son, and to set the record straight... (or possibly throat punch some, who audibly yell at him, and suggest we put up a sign letting the restaurant know he has Autism---see former blog.).

The good news about this though... it's fixable! If awareness increases...it's fixable! If we learn to be more empathetic.... it's fixable.  If we get a lesson in giving someone the benefit of the doubt... it's fixable.

We, as humans, tend to assume we know what's at play in any situation. We assume, a child crying in the supermarket, is upset because he didn't get his way, or he is spoiled. We assume a mother ignoring certain behaviors, is inattentive.... a lousy mom. We think if a child looks "normal", then he should act "normal". And often, when we make those assumptions, we let our body language reveal how we feel. We give dirty looks. We sigh. We huff and puff.  And some of us, who are REALLY bold, make comments.

We don't stop to realize that the crying child, may just be over-stimulated. Unable to communicate his needs. And that "ignoring mom", may just be trying to get through a dreaded shopping trip without a comment or glare, so she can get back to the privacy of her home, and deal with the same behaviors, day in and day out, but without an audience. That mom is tired. She's doing the best she can.

In our case, that "normal" looking boy, has to work so hard for everything he accomplishes in life. He spends his mornings in various therapies, to learn skills that most just learn as they age. He spends a lot of time watching other kids play, and wishing he'd be invited in to the mix. Sometimes, when he is, he scares them off, because he is so excitable. He shouts "HEY" before the majority of things he says... and kids generally aren't sure what to make of him. Sometimes, he has so much he wants to say , that it's a struggle to get it out....and so it come out in mumbles, or it takes 2 or 3 attempts to get it out. When he gets excited.... REALLY excited... he does the most adorable dance, because he can't control his body, AND be excited at the same time. He moves in one speed for the most part... and that's slow motion.... making even the simplest of tasks, time consuming.

Our situation, pales in comparison to many who are affected by this condition. Some mom's would do anything, to just get to hear their child's voice, to get an "I love you" or a bedtime snuggle. They have to learn "holds" in order to keep their child from hurting themselves or others. I think of those families, and those individuals, and my heart breaks.

Families affected by Autism....don't need our gawks, judgment, opinions, glares, sighs, or comments. They need forgiveness for disruptions. They need prayers. They need encouragement.  They need people willing to teach their children to be accepting of differences, and to seek out people that need a friend... but not to just teach their children those things... to live these things out in their own lives.

This doesn't just go for children.  We all encounter adults that seem different. What do we do when an adult who doesn't seem "normal" engages us in conversation? Do we cut it short? Seem annoyed. Run the other way? Or do we take the time to bring light to their day? To hear what they have to say. To ask them how they are? To smile.

I have learned so much from my son. My eyes have been opened to things I was oblivious to 6 years ago.... and so I write. Not to judge or condemn... but try my best, to bring awareness. To urge us all, myself included, to not be so quick to make assumptions on situations... and to love all. Accept all.

I believe that our son is perfect. I believe that he is going to continue to soar. He will learn to communicate effectively, and build meaningful relationships. Although nothing is easy, and his path always seem to involve a lot of guesswork... in my heart, I believe God has big plans for him.  No, I KNOW God has big plans for him. He's already using him in big, big ways.

So in honor of my boy, on this special day.... let's try to remember... they may be different, but they are not less. They are just trying to make sense of a world, that operates differently than their mind does....and if we take the time to get to know them, we may just learn something from them!

Love you all... and as always.... thanks for following, the WHOLE WHITE WORLD!